Love in a time of Chaos
Catch my Disease
Back in November I began contemplating Chaos. My roommate was contemplating Sacrifice - We were both deeply attuning to Death. Life shows up and asks you, how deep are you willing to go? What is your sacrifice? What does chaos represent?
On the drive home from a holiday weekend I listened to “Stuff You Should Know: Chaos Theory” where they talk about determinism and exponentials. These are math theories, ideas of numbers and order but I’d like to apply these ideas to what’s happening with us now. We live our lives as if living a finite determined X. We don’t know what number/how long X represents other than the number of years we will be alive here on earth as the person we are today. DNA shows us that inherited family/ancestor patterns are predetermined however, if you’ve ever seen children play, you know that even if it looks like a pasta strainer to you, they see it as any number of potential things.
It’s the same as living a deterministic or exponential life. You can take the path you have laid you before you and feel safe and secure knowing this path leads to these places. Add in a few detours, because nobody can predetermine their life entirely (ask an actuary) and you believe in this path so strongly you forget to leave room for what’s possible.
This is where chaos comes in. Chaos can bring you all kinds of possibilities. In fact, the patterns of exponential possibility are so vast, you can’t actually comprehend the HOW of those possibilities. These potentialities can throw you into fear or contraction, like a turtle pulling it’s head back in and/or perhaps you lash out like a wild starving animal in an attempt to consume everything around you.
Either way, both these patterns of behavior can lead you back to your way of living out your determinism. It’s just too much to try and hold and live From chaos, we don’t feel safe and secure. Once we lose the feeling of security, we drop love and compassion and ultimately shut down to ourselves and others. In this way of thinking there is a limited number of “things” which invokes a survival response and in many ways, that’s where we are finding ourselves today.
The question I’m feeling today is, What am I willing to Sacrifice to allow Chaos? How can I be with, thrive with the exponential changes that are happening today? Where is the Love in a time of Chaos?
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